I've Got a Feeling

For some reason, I've got a feeling that the rest of the year may hold some happy surprises. I don't know why. For one thing, for the first time since the birth of my child I'm going out to see a real punk gig in Dallas. My Mother is going to babysit for what to her is a long time. I wonder what it'll be like...my husband and I heading out for a 3 hour drive to the show, without our little one directing our course. We may discover we are still insanely in love, babbling incessantly like two kids on a 10 minute recess, or maybe it will feel like a more secure, bonded relationship. Two lovers joined at the hip with no need for words, just holding hands as we drive and enjoying the precious silence we always took for granted. Silence used to be a bad thing. Now, it's comforting. The prescence of my longtime secret-holder, staring at me as we slowly fall asleep in bed, having small discussions about the milestones our child hit that day. Or will we drink too much and dredge up past aggressions? Having a horridly long 3 hour drive home, getting lost after midnight and blaming eachother? I wonder...my dreams tell me I love him, I fear losing him, being abandoned. Then I cry out and he's there, waking me from my nightmares, calming me back to sleep. I like that.